Smart Conversations about Childhood, Parenting and Society
Thursday, March 10, 2005
New Mothers Movement Online
Check out this months' MMO by one of my favorite online writers, Judith Stadtman Tucker: new features, links to media on mothers, and the archives of Judy's articles.
Thank you for this: -- "Second, what I found is that fathers who want to be primary caretakers have similar experiences— they’re not really counted, and they too have trouble finding decent part-time work. The book includes several stories of stay-at-home dads, of fathers who have chosen to work less-than-full time so they can be more hands-on with their kids. I found their stories fascinating, and important. One of the first at-home parents I met— before I was even pregnant, was Tom, who had left several high-level jobs to be with his older kids and support his wife’s work. When fathers are part of families, they’re crucial. That’s why I call it both a motherhood problem, and a parent problem. It’s coming down more harshly on mothers because so many of us tend to be the primary parent, yes. But we need to include the experiences of fathers who parent; they’re very isolated, need friends, and have important insights. (I’m very critical of books like Perfect Madness that write off this generation of fathers and say they don’t want to parent; they haven’t done their research.) I’ve noticed that because men tend to feel anger as anger (not like women, who tend to turn anger inward into shame), at-home dads really notice the loss of prestige when they decide to parent, and they are very vocal about it." -- As a woman fighting for fathers to be equal to mothers, and to enjoy fully functioning relationships with their children outside of marriage, I am always thrilled to see their love and devotion to their children championed by other women.
I hear so many single mothers wanting things to be easier on them, yet those same women keep the fathers of their children at arm's length, interfering with the natural father-child relationships. Today's father is devoted, caring, knowledgable and not respected enough.
Teri http://www.sharedparentingworks.org http://feminist4fathers.blogspot.com/
1 comment:
Thank you for this:
--
"Second, what I found is that fathers who want to be primary caretakers have similar experiences— they’re not really counted, and they too have trouble finding decent part-time work. The book includes several stories of stay-at-home dads, of fathers who have chosen to work less-than-full time so they can be more hands-on with their kids. I found their stories fascinating, and important. One of the first at-home parents I met— before I was even pregnant, was Tom, who had left several high-level jobs to be with his older kids and support his wife’s work. When fathers are part of families, they’re crucial. That’s why I call it both a motherhood problem, and a parent problem. It’s coming down more harshly on mothers because so many of us tend to be the primary parent, yes. But we need to include the experiences of fathers who parent; they’re very isolated, need friends, and have important insights. (I’m very critical of books like Perfect Madness that write off this generation of fathers and say they don’t want to parent; they haven’t done their research.) I’ve noticed that because men tend to feel anger as anger (not like women, who tend to turn anger inward into shame), at-home dads really notice the loss of prestige when they decide to parent, and they are very vocal about it."
--
As a woman fighting for fathers to be equal to mothers, and to enjoy fully functioning relationships with their children outside of marriage, I am always thrilled to see their love and devotion to their children championed by other women.
I hear so many single mothers wanting things to be easier on them, yet those same women keep the fathers of their children at arm's length, interfering with the natural father-child relationships. Today's father is devoted, caring, knowledgable and not respected enough.
Teri
http://www.sharedparentingworks.org
http://feminist4fathers.blogspot.com/
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